She wanted to jump out of plane
and drop heavy through screaming air
see the ground rush towards her
feel her heart beat against her ribs
and know she and Earth
would meet violently one last time
if she didn’t pull the cord
So started every day
with a choice
to keep plummeting
or slow her descent
and turn her chaotic hurtle
into a controlled approach
NaPoWriMo Day 28
The wait staff would squirm uncomfortably
when she would request
they surprise her with a meal
She didn’t like to order from a menu
as she spent so much of her time
making difficult and careful decisions
She delighted in abdicating
when she could
…it was just one meal
…hair could regrow
…walls be repainted
after a hiatus
She found every impermanence
NaPoWriMo Day 20
If I would have learned to play the flute
when I was nine,
would everything have been different?
Would my body still have gone rogue
if we had moved to Florida
when my mother remarried?
Where would I be if at sixteen I had turned down
that particular request for pizza and a movie
on such a bitter and glacier sharp night?
Maybe I never gave contemporary country music
enough of an unbiased chance
to penetrate my soul and influence my psyche?
What if I accepted the marriage proposal,
when I was eighteen,
from my perpetually wandering boyfriend?
Or should I have kept to the path
I vowed I’d take of never walking down the aisle,
instead adopting babies and parenting on my own?
What would have happened if I bought the large, black truck
instead of the small, red car
that didn’t have a radio or cassette tape player?
Could I have eaten a balanced diet that included plenty of leafy greens,
despite five months of horrific nausea,
when I was pregnant?
If I’d never been cut, stumbled, dropped off cliffs, or simply left to drift,
would I still love this life
with such extraordinary ferocity?
April 27, 2013